I started sharing stories from my life around gratitude, in 2018 or so, through this little blog project called “Blessed & Grateful.”
Why bother?
Gratitude works. Start paying attention to what you are most grateful for and your perspective on life will shift. I promise.
My quiet, kind and thoughtful neighbor inspired the title. If you ask him how he’s doing, that’s exactly what he would says: “I’m Blessed … and thankful.”
That led me to reflect on the influence of gratitude in my life, then invest time in sharing these stories throughout 2018.
Gratitude helps us feel more content
I can vouch for what the experts tell us that paying attention to gratitude helps us feel happier and more content. At the start of winter, I was not as anxious about the shorter days as I usually am. And in the midst of the holiday hustle and bustle this year, I felt healthier and more peaceful. Reflecting and writing a bunch about gratitude at work in my life must have something to do with that. The most painful parts of life have less hold on me now.
Gratitude is how I stay up
Gratitude gets me unstuck. Gratitude propels me forward, to the next good step. And then the next one.
When I pause to appreciate the good and beautiful in a moment, a day, a person, a relationship, even a lifetime, I sense a powerful shift toward peace and grace.
Sometimes, that shift immediately feels good. Sometimes, it’s too teensy to notice. Yet, I believe that magic is quietly working — both in my life and out into the world.
Gratitude is an act of resistance
When I feel better, I am kinder and gentler. Never perfect, mind you, but better. Since kindness leads to more kindness and love leads to more love, then isn’t gratitude — along with joy, peace and hope — it’s own act of resistance against the darkness in the world? I believe so.
Or, in other words: Mean people suck. Let’s smother out the mean and cruel with kindness and love. Just saying …
Time to share these stories
I must. It was time to share these stories that bounce around in my head, and hopefully the best versions of the best ones. If they lift you just once, then it was well worth the effort.
Gratitude is like water: Life-giving and mighty. The raindrops that quickly relieve thirst also over time smooth the towering, jagged peaks of a mountain.
Yet, we must be careful. Gratitude doesn’t ignore or erase pain. We still have to work through the painful parts of our lives.
Just like water, if we force gratitude down our throats, we’ll choke on it.
Gratitude was key to making peace with my dad
Along with love and forgiveness, gratitude was essential to making peace with my dad. As a kid, I missed him terribly, sometimes even when he was in the room. He’d cheated on our families, and left the heavy lifting of raising two daughters and providing for them to each of our mothers, his ex-wives.
And yet, to his credit, he never let go. Never stopped calling to say I love you, even over the years when I was angry and did not want to speak to him.
Making peace took a long, long time — and gratitude for the things he could do.
But because we found that peace, I better understand myself and got more of what I needed from him. Not everything I believe daughters truly need from their fathers, but more of what I needed.
Now, in 2019, I must be really brave, and share those stories.
The Science of Gratitude
Gratitude works wonders for other people, too. Stories about the science of gratitude appear in the popular press.
And check-out this awesome TED talk on the power of gratitude.
Some thoughts on faith
Finally, some thoughts on faith.
Another wonderful thing about my B&G neighbor is that we can talk to each other about our faith, and discuss both what we agree about and disagree about.
We need more of that in American life these days.
I believe in love above all else, and that means respecting your right to believe whatever you believe. I believe in God as an infinite source of love — and at different times of my life have used the name Spirit or the Universe. I’ve practiced and explored different religious traditions, but throughout my life have always believed in that infinite source of love many people call God.
I believe in finding common ground among various faith practices, and that love is a really big tent. Be loving. Be kind to others. Take care of people. Take care of animals, plants and nature. Seek peace.
I DON’T believe, however, that I’m an authority on “Blessed & Grateful,” and have started to feel squishy at the thought of presenting myself as such.
I also know those words may sound too church-y to some people who bristle at the thought of church.
Lots of really good people have their reasons to avoid church or organized religion. I know plenty. I used to be one. In the last few years, I cherish my church community and the ritual of church services. Yet, to me, living that faith means honoring someone’s aversion to church.
I’ll talk and write about my faith — but never intend to pressure anyone.
Thanksgiving in February
So — this year, the name of this blog on gratitude is changing to something much more personal: Thanksgiving in February, finding gratitude in the bleakest times. Thanksgiving in February is a true story of making peace within my family-of-origin, a celebration of gratitude in cold and dark times — and quite literally the name of a big family Thanksgiving dinner we hold in February.
That story, and many more, are coming up. Welcome! and thank YOU for being here!
As always, many thanks to my kind neighbor, who gently shared his own perspective and inspired the start of this blog.